You’re incorrect if you think “Carole King week” is a boring idea. Shut up, ugly girl. You know who sang Carole King songs? Aretha Franklin, Dusty Springfield and Laura Nyro. Read: not chumps. Carole is a no-nonsense Brooklyn broad who majored in dreamweaving and wrote the most gorgeous — and eventually, anthemic — songs of the ’60s and ’70s. You tolerated Elton John week, and he and Bernie wrote lyrics like, “Daniel, my brother, you are older than me.” Shut up again. Carole is a sorceress and Idol is not good enough for her, but these miniature hucksters tried with all of their lunch money and Star Search gestures to honor her. We have six performers and nine performances to rank; let’s feel like natural women and claw their faces off.
9. Casey Abrams, “Hi-De-Ho That Old Sweet Roll”
Theory: Carole King did not mean to write this song. I imagine Gerry Goffin fell down the stairs, hollered something, and Carole jokingly yelled “Hi-De-Ho” because she wanted a divorce. (And the mic was on.) Strange that Casey is still praised for his “unconventional” style, because there’s nothing even slightly out-of-the-box about being plain awful. Casey is often useless on the Idol stage, transforming my beloved, blood-red Idol stadium into some jazz band concert from hell. Last night was no exception. Redbeard, your hirsute halcyon days are over.
8. James Durbin and Jacob Lusk, “I’m Into Something Good”
You may have noticed that every male left on Idol is a creepy preteen. They hump the judges like toddlers in a mutiny, lick their man-children lips, and now sneer, “Something tells me I’m into something good!” while Mrs. Marc Anthony covers her naked gams in shame. They’re…
Source: http://www.celebrities.com/celebrities-gossip/american-idol-top-6-carole-in-peril/
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